Merula 4:2

Chapter 4:2 -Odd occurrences

Morgan led me out of the classroom. My legs were shaking and my mind was fuzzy with thoughts. What has just happened? Was it just my imagination or had I...? Was it my fault that the lamp exploded? How did I do that? What if someone got hurt? But I had wanted for someone to get hurt. I had wanted to hurt Rogan. What if I killed him? I met Rogan's brown eyes among the students. He stared furiously at me as always. My knees gave in. I had almost killed him. For what? For a little attention from the teacher.

I could hear the other students discuss this strange occurrence. Were they afraid? Terrified, like me? Did they know, did they suspect me? I could feel their cold stares, their vicious grins and hear their mean laughter. They knew., didn't they? My heart beat faster and harder. I felt caged. I couldn't stand their stares. I had to get out of there.

-Edi, are you alright?

I could hardly distinguish Morgan's voice, my racing pulse filled my ears. I think I nodded weakly to his question. I tried to stand and Morgan helped me up.

-Out... I need..., I tried to convey to him.

-I'll help you, he answered and led me through the buzzing bunch of students.

I don't remember how but Morgan managed to take me to the nurse.

-She's in shock, a little rest and she'll be fine. Don't give her anything to eat or drink before she has recovered from the shock, alright? The nurse instructed Morgan after she'd examined me.

-Yes, ma'am, Morgan said and saluted.

I know he did it to make me smile but I couldn't smile.

-You know, you're pale as snow, Morgan told me.

-I think I need to go home.

-I'll follow you.

-No thanks. Don't use me as an excuse to get out of class.

-I'm not, Morgan tried to look innocent with his light blue eyes and held up his hands in surrender.

After half an hour in the flat I was thinking that staying in school would have been better than dealing with my crazy head. It ached terribly and made it impossible to think straight. I couldn't figure out what had happened or how it happened. Worst of all was the guilt. I had almost killed Rogan. I could have killed him. Every turn I took in my head I kept coming back to how I almost killed him. I could see him dead before me. His chocolate brown eyes were motionless and cold, his body stiff and strange-looking. Tears kept coming every time I saw him lifeless and tears aren't a good cure for a headache. My head grew heavier. I tried to sleep it off, I even took a pill despite my fear of pills but nothing would rid me from my headache. It was worse than ever before. I could hardly see straight.

That's when Rogan returned home. I was in the kitchen, forcing myself to swallow another pill as he first one hadn't worked. I heard the door close and I could hear from the motion that it was him. I hoped he would silently vanish into his room. Fate wanted otherwise. He walked straight into the kitchen.

-How can you skip school just because a light bulb broke? His voice had its usual edge in it.

-It exploded, I said weakly.

-Have you always been this lazy? If you was going to stay home you could've at least cleaned up after you.

No matter how guilt-ridden I had felt when I was alone with my aching head another part of me still hated Rogan sincerely. How could he just walk in and start complaining?

-Could you stop spreading your things around the flat? Rogan said irritated.

-What do you mean? I asked tiredly.

-It's such a mess! You know this isn't your home. You just live here.

It had been a long day to begin with. This was the shot in Sarajevo. I could feel my tears creeping up in the corners of my eyes. I turned around so he wouldn't see my tears and tried to find my stuff in the general mess of the flat. I couldn't see any of my things which made the situation even worse. I was wrongly accused. I swallowed and turned around with a sassy smile.

-Could you be so kind to point out where my stuff are exactly as I can't seem to recognise them. At all.

Rogan's eyes flashed and I could hear him grit his teeth before he searched the living room with his eyes.

-Those earphones...

-Your little brothers.

-That sweater...

-Mandy's.

-That book.

-Blake's, jeez Rogan, do you think I would ever read something about some football player? I sighed.

And Rogan grit this teeth once more.

-That scarf, he tried again.

-Adeline's. Can I leave now?

I needed a nap or at least a break from Rogan. My head was killing me.

-Ah, those notes are yours.

Rogan proudly held up some sheets with a victorious and vicious grin. I lost it. He was so desperately looking for things to bring me down and I couldn't take it anymore.

-Those are YOUR fucking notes, Rogan! Leave me alone!

I stormed into my room which wasn't my room and shut the door that wasn't mine either before my knees gave in for the second time this day. I was torn between guilt and hatred. But with each breath I took my anger grew. I didn't even want to let it go, I didn't want to settle down and relax. My body shivered in anger.

And so did the room. It quivered around me and the light bulbs flickered anxiously. The room filled with tension. It was as if my surroundings came alive nourished by my anger. I wanted to believe that it was my splitting headache that made me delusional but when the old heater's water begun to boil I could no longer hide from truth. It was me, I was making the room quiver and lights flicker and the heater boil with fury. Terrified I opened the door and rushed out. Right into Rogan's arms.

-What! He said irritated and glared down at me. But he didn't push me away.

-Something's wrong... with the room, I said weakly, I couldn't tell him that I thought it was my doing.

He pushed me behind his back and slowly approached the bedroom. He pushed it open with his foot and took a quick look inside.

-There's nothing, he said at last.

-Well, I knew you wouldn't..., I begun to defend.

-Oh, I believe you. I felt it too. The whole flat sort of vibrated in anger.

I stared at him with large eyes and Rogan raised an eyebrow.

-I don't have any other way to describe it, sorry if it doesn't suit you.

-No, no, it's just that's exactly how I felt too. I thought my headache was playing with me.

-You have headaches? Rogan asked astounded.

I glared at him, who's fault did he think it was?

-Yes, like any other human being.

-Sorry, I meant it more like “you have headaches as well”, I also have headaches. More than usually. Since you came.

-That's probably because you go around and irritate yourself on my existence and fight every second breath you take.

-Not true.

No? was what I wanted to ask but I kept it to myself and sighed. Deeply. My hands was shaking nervously and I knew that if I didn't find a chair soon enough my legs would crumble too. I walked slowly into the kitchen, the furthest room away from my bedroom except from the bathroom but I didn't want to sit in there and wait for my legs to stand on their own. Rogan followed me quietly, watching me as I with shaky hands pulled out a chair.

-You want something to eat? There's soup from yesterday, Rogan said gently.

It surprised the both of us.

-Yes thank you.

I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and my stomach was growling. Rogan reheated the soup and sat it down in front of me together with a glass of water. Then he sat down opposite me.

-How's your head? He asked.

I blinked at him. Was he asking me how I was feeling? This was not like him. First he gave me food and now he asked me about my health. I couldn't hate him at the moment.

-It's better, it's just a small nibbling now. I suppose the second pill really helped.

-You took two pills? You don't even like pills.

-Well, that's how bad my headache was, making me resort to unimaginable resolutions. But my headache's almost gone now so it's worth it.

-How long have you have headaches?

-Since I met you. But it's only natural since we fight all the time.

There was no disagreeing with that. All we did was fight and most of the time the reasons for our quarrels were silly or non-existent. Maybe now was the time for peace.

-Do you think...? I started humbly to build a bridge between us.

-No.

Was he rejecting my stretched out hand for peace?

-I haven't even finished my sentence, how can you just say no? I questioned him. -Do you know what I was going to say?

-No, I won't make a truce with you.

How did he know? Could he read minds?

-What are your reasons? I said and tried to act resolute.

-Do I need a reason?

-Of course...

-You're a bother.

-Hah, how can..., I hardly knew what to say, I was so stunned.

-You wanted a reason, Rogan shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the kitchen.

To be continued...

By J.L.Frick

Merula 4:1

Chapter 4:1 -Odd occurrences

I was late for my piano lesson. I run around the last corner and immediately backed around it again. I don’t know how I succeeded to run into Rogan again. What was he doing outside the piano room this time of the day? The last few weeks had been nothing but endless fights and quarrels with Rogan. After a day in school my head ached terribly and not even after school could I avoid the cause of my headache. Nowadays not even a good night's sleep could rid me of this throbbing headache. I was tired. The two things that kept me going was Morgan's smile that never seemed to end and playing the piano. Last week miss Helen had given me a beautiful piece that I'd almost mastered after a lot of alone practice during breaks. Every time I played it I imagined three little girls dancing ballet around me and the black piano. They were smiling brightly and laughing while doing their pirouettes. For the moment playing the piano was the only thing that made me really happy.

I peeked around the corner. Nope, Rogan was still there and it didn’t look like he was going to move. Oh well I couldn’t hide forever and I was already late for my lesson. As boldly as I could I stepped out from my hiding place and with my head held high I ignored Rogan and walked into the piano room. I would have succeeded except… Rogan grabbed my wrist and with a firm grip that I knew would leave tiny bruises he kept me from entering the room.

-What are you doing here? He asked coldly.

-I have a lesson, miss Helen is expecting me.

-You play?

He sounded honestly surprised.

-Yeah, I answered and hoped that I sounded at least a tenth unaffected by his question as I wished I was. But in reality I was burning with curiosity and anger. Why did he bother to know if I played piano or not? What did it matter to him?

-Which days do you play?

-Why do you wonder? I glared at him.

His grip got firmer as a result.

-Tell me, he said through his teeth.

-Let me go first, I said, I wasn't going to let him win.

For a moment I didn't think he would release me but he did. Instead of holding me back he blocked the entrance of the room. He wouldn't let me escape that easy.

-I play Tuesdays and Thursdays, I said and tried to enter the room. I must have been stupid to really believe that he would let it go that easily.

-Mornings or afternoons? Rogan asked.

-What time is it now, Rogan? I crooked one eyebrow.

He ignored the sarcasm and kept asking questions.

-Are both lessons in the morning?

-Yes.

Where were he going with these questions?

-And those are the only times you play the piano?

What did he mean? What did he want to know?

I sighed.

-What are you doing Rogan? Figuring out a stalking scheme?

-You are so full of yourself. I want to know when you are here so I don't happen trip over you in surprise.

I wrinkled my forehead. What did he mean?

-I also play piano, he said unaffected.

-No way, I said less unaffected.

My eyes must have been wide as the sky with surprise.

-When do you play? I haven't seen you here at all.

That wasn't true, I had seen him repeatedly the last few days hanging around the piano room but he had never been inside.

-Afternoons, Fridays.

So what was he doing here all the other times?

-So there is no way we could run into each other then, I stated.

-But you only play during those times, Rogan asked again. -No other times?

I suppose I had to tell him if it was avoiding me he wanted to do. Ouch, that hurt.

-No.

This time it was Rogan's chocolate brown eyes that widened in surprise.

-No?

-No. I'm allowed to play here whenever the room is empty. Miss Helen even gave me a key if the room would be closed.

It must have been first time Rogan didn't have anything to respond.

-Jealous? I teased him.

Before he could defend himself miss Helen turned up in the hallway.

-Oh Edi, you're here now. I was just grabbing some coffee, she said and held up her cup. -Oh, Rogan, what are you doing here?

Miss Helen threw her blond hair dramatically over her shoulder.

-We're playing I Giorni by Einaudi Ludovico. Do you want to play together, you two?

-What?! I probably jumped in surprise but how could miss Helen even suggest it?

-Oh, I've heard the rumours of you two, always fighting whenever you get the chance. Everybody else thinks you two hate each other but I think it's the opposite.

-It's not the opposite! I protested . -I actually hate him!

-Oh, ok then, miss Helen shrugged her shoulders. -My fault. Should we start? See you on Friday, Rogan.

Miss Helen walked into the classroom leaving me and Rogan alone. He still didn't say anything. What was he thinking?

-Well, now you know. So just avoid me, will you, I said and closed the door with a flare of drama.

-How's your head? Morgan asked and knocked gently on my forehead as I sat down beside him.

It was the first lesson of the day, biology, and the teacher was late as always. Morgan had already prepared himself for a long nap. He had built a small hill of biology books which he'd covered with his jacket. Had this been front row the teacher would have sent him to the headmaster before he'd even laid down his head on his home made cushion. But as always we were seated in the far back and the biology teacher had bad eyesight so Morgan wouldn't get caught. I still couldn't understand what he was doing in this class. Hadn't the teachers noticed that he didn't really follow the speed the rest of the class was rushing off in.

-It hurts, thank you very much, I said sarcastic and then smiled at him.

-Oh, it'll pass.

-You think? I've had this one for at least a month now.

Morgan wrinkled his forehead and observed me.

-That long, huh? Maybe you should stop quarrelling with your boyfriend, Morgan teased me.

Morgan was very well aware of the situation between me and Rogan. He actually knew most of my secrets already. It was as if I had been waiting my whole life for a friend like this and then handed him the thick book that my imaginary diary was. The worst part is that I never thought twice before revealing every little detail of my life. I sort of naïvely trusted him not to pass on my secrets to anyone. So far he hadn't told a single soul.

-You know, I actually think he's stalking me just so he can fight with me.

-Based on what?

-I run into him this morning, a long time before the school starts, outside the piano room. For a first, what did he do there at that time? Secondly, he kept asking me questions about when I play and so on. And as an explanation he tells me he plays piano as well!

-You play piano?

-What? Haven't I told you that?

How many surprises did I have to take this morning?

-Maybe I wasn't listening, Morgan smiled playfully.

-You never do, I smiled back at him.

The teacher finally arrived and the lesson could begin. Biology was one of my favourite subjects, it was easy which made it fun. Unlike chemistry that I had to struggle to understand at all. The downside of the biology lessons was that the teacher had bad eyesight which practically made me invisible seated in the back as I was. So no matter how long I held up my hand the teacher couldn't see me. He did see Rogan, who was seated up in the front. Rogan was practically answering the questions before the teacher even asked them. It was silly, I know, but that was the sort of thing I got jealous of. Today especially since I'd been studying real hard for the upcoming test and I had prepared questions about this topic. I didn't want to wait until the lesson ended to be able to ask my questions just because Rogan was monopolizing the teacher. I stretched my arm a bit further, waving it discreetly from side to side, hoping that the teacher would notice the motion. But no.

Frustrated I tried to hold back, I didn't want to yell across the classroom. The fluorescent lamp hanging just above me begun to flicker. It always begun to flicker around this time, it was old and needed to be replaced. The teacher laughed, probably because of something Rogan said. I gritted my teeth. Then it happened. All of the lamps in the classroom begun to flicker. The students wake up from their half coma distracted by the flickering lights.

-Oh, these damn old lamps, the teacher cursed making the class laugh.

-I'll turn them off, Rogan said and walked to the switch.

But before he could turn them off on of the lamps exploded and the students screeched.

-Ah, we better end this lesson, the teacher said and the students rushed out of the classroom.

It was only me and Morgan left in the classroom.

-Are you alright? Morgan asked me.

He didn't seem disturbed by the flickering lights or that lamp just exploded out of nowhere.

-I'm fine, I said weakly, I couldn't grip the reality.

-Let's get out then, it'd be strange if we were the only ones left.

To be continued...

By J.L.Frick

Edith Sword

So once in awhile I sketch my characters. Hope you can read my handwriting, it's not many people who can. Sometimes even I can't read what I've written.
If you have any questions about the characters, the story or the grey society they live in just ask away.